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[personal profile] childeric
In a comment, give three good reasons in less than sixty words in total why I shouldn't cultivate a soft boomerang of love à la Jesse Hughes from EoDM:

Illustrate with examples of better facial hair role models if you feel this will assist your case.

Obviously I'd need the aviator shades, too, but I have lots of those already.

Date: 2008-11-03 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hell, I'm not talking you out of it. GO FOR IT! :D

Date: 2008-11-03 10:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]


Date: 2008-11-03 10:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Don't try to pretend Simon, what you are really doing is trying to look like me. First cutting your hair, now a beard and tache.

I'm very flattered. If you ask [ profile] zoo_music_girl, she can tell you where I bought my three piece suit, so the tranformation can be complete.

Date: 2008-11-03 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And for a while I thought I'd got away with it, dammit. Now I'm going to have to delete this whole post before anyone cottons on to my Single White Female tendencies and starts hiding the sharp objects...

Date: 2008-11-03 10:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Here, this might help :o)


Date: 2008-11-03 10:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wow, your left eyebrow is going all Roger Moore.

I'm thinking more walrus than that in the 'tache stakes, though, you see.

Date: 2008-11-03 10:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My eyebrows have always done that, RM copied me doncha know.

Don't underestimate how icky facial hair can get. Even my fairly trimmed article gets food and all sorts of yuk in it quite regularly. It's particularly nasty when you have a cold.....

Date: 2008-11-03 10:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
No, there is that, actually. Moustaches are a total pain to keep clean and nice. I'd never be able to stick with the faff of it for very long. Besides, I'd get bored. But just for a few weeks I'm tempted to try it.

Date: 2008-11-03 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm thinking more walrus than that in the 'tache stakes

You're planning on filter-feeding?

Date: 2008-11-03 11:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, that is an incumbent risk, isn't it? And moustaches can swiftly end up smelling unless you're careful to wash them after every meal. Yeuch.

Bah, stop it, you're winning me round to the cause of the good and sensible rather than what I actually want to do. ;-p

Date: 2008-11-03 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That looks way better on you than it would on Simon!

Date: 2008-11-03 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You never know... I was sceptical about it on Ian, but now, I'm his goatee's biggest fan. : )

(Psst! Simon, go for it!)

Date: 2008-11-03 10:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
1) You'd look like a knob.

2) You'd look like a knob.

3) You'd look like a knob.

Next question?

Date: 2008-11-03 10:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Tsk, I said good reasons...!

Ridicule, as a very wise man once said, is nothing to be scared of.1 Although maybe he didn't have sleazy seventies moustaches in mind when he was saying it.

1. The fact that he went on to release Ant Rap as a single possibly may erode our estimation somewhat and cause us to rank him a little below Solomon in the wisdom stakes, but that's neither here nor there.

Date: 2008-11-03 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can only agree with my learned friend's opinion in this matter.

Date: 2008-11-03 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, bah, it's the fate of the prophet to be ridiculed in his own land, or whatever that proverb is. And it's exactly the same thing in this case, you see, only with moustaches, not prophecies.

Date: 2008-11-03 10:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If you have to ask why not, then there is already little hope for you, and no rational argument is likely to find any purchase in your clearly deranged mind.

A friend of mine who currently lives in New Zealand is growing a moustache this month, which I can't entirely condone, although he is doing it for charity (perhaps there's a shortage of baths of baked beans in Auckland at the moment, or maybe that just wouldn't have been humiliating enough) and intends to shave it off at the end of the month.

If you want explicit reasons then:

1. This isn't the 1890s
2. This isn't the 1970s
3. You're not a Wing Commander in the RAF, nor are you Salvador Dali.

These are the only circumstances in which it is even halfway appropriate to have a moustache, and to be honest I'm not entirely happy about number 2.

Date: 2008-11-03 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
1. Oh, but wouldn't it be lovely if it were! The Yellow Book, Beardsley and decadence all round! Who could ask for more? Well, so long as you're not that bothered about unaffordable health care, a horrifyingly class-ridden and grossly unequal society and the prospect of an appalling European War within twenty years.

2. Oh, but wouldn't it be lovely if it... Oh, alright, no, even my powers of devil's advocacy are impotent in a struggle so grossly unequal as this one.

3. Perhaps we're mistaking cause and effect here. Maybe the one thing that's thwarting my being a dashing RAF type or a Franco-supporting self-obsessed Spanish show-off is the lack of whiskers. Think of what I could achieve were those career paths opened to me!

Date: 2008-11-03 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
you cut your hair????? Where is the evidence?

And because there is something really squicky about imagining you with that mustache or sim?

Date: 2008-11-03 11:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oo, did you miss that? Gosh, I thought it had been all over LJ! Actually, come to think of it, the photos may just have been on FB... I don't know if it'll let me link directly, but you could try: for an example. Or look at my Library Thing profile (under Childeric)...

It really is quite a dodgy 'tache, isn't it? But I'm tempted...

Date: 2008-11-03 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh! I thought you'd just pulled the hair back really tight! Still, it's hard to tell. And yes, the 'tache is really dodgy. It's even what my niece would call sketchy.

Date: 2008-11-03 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Here you go:

Date: 2008-11-03 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
- you really want to grow a handlebar moustache the wider the better; perhaps if you match it up with a boater. Its all the rage in Walthastow these I gather form the fashion magazines.

As for a reason not to, you would have to spend hours in front of the mirror grooming it and I know how you hate that :)

Date: 2008-11-03 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Do it! Do it! Do it! Totally do it! It's what I'd do.
And can I just add for good measure DO IT! I'll be your best friend. Oh go on, do it. Do it. Do it. Have I managed to convey to you what an utterly rocking idea this is? Do it. Do it. Do it. Please do it. It's my birthday soon. Do it.


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